To carry such a burden, to feel such loss
by Ida-Marie119
Summary: During sixth year, Harry comes across a broken Draco in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom - an alternate spin on what could have happened, had they not let anger and prejudice get the best of them. ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own none of the places, names or themes taken from Harry Potter. They all belong to J. K. Rowling.

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><p>A few days before their match against Ravenclaw, Harry found himself walking down to dinner alone from the common room, Ron having rushed off to a nearby bathroom to throw up yet again, and Hermione having dashed off to see Professor Vector about a mistake she thought she might have made in her last Arithmancy test. More out of habit than anything else really, Harry found himself taking his usual detour along the seventh-floor corridor, checking the Marauder's Map as he went. For a moment he could not find Malfoy anywhere and assumed that he must indeed be in the Room of Requirement again, but then he saw Malfoy's tiny, labelled dot standing the boys' bathroom on the floor below, accompanied, not by Crabbe or Goyle, but by Moaning Myrtle.<p>

Harry only stopped staring at this unlikely couple when he walked right into a suit of armour. The loud crash brought him out of his reverie and he hurried from the scene lest Filch should turn up. He dashed down the marble staircase and passageway below. Outside the bathroom, he pressed his ear against the door. He couldn't hear anything. He very quietly pushed open the door. Draco Malfoy was standing with his back to the door, his hands clutching either side of the sink, his white blonde head bowed.

_"Don't"_ crooned Moaning Myrtle's voice from one of the cubicles. _"Don't do it…tell me what's wrong…I can help you…" "No you can't. No one can."_ Malfoy muttered. His whole body was shaking and his upper body was drenched in water from the sink. This was not the usually flawless and stoic Malfoy that Harry knew. This boy was scared and dishevelled, his façade cracked and bearing little similarity to the enemy he had expected. _"I can't do it… I can't…it won't work…and unless I do it soon…he says he'll kill me…"_ Harry realised with a shock so overwhelming that seemed to root him to the spot, that Malfoy was crying - actually crying - tears streaming down his blotchy pale face into the grimy basin. Malfoy gasped and gulped and then with a great shudder lifted his head to look into the cracked mirror, too emotionally distraught to see Harry standing behind him, walking towards him. Harry felt like some invisible force was pulling him towards Malfoy. This wasn't the mean spirited bully he knew, this was but a boy who was being forced to do terrible things by a terrible lord. He felt the urge to comfort this boy, to pat him on the shoulder and embrace him in a tight, reassuring hug. Alarm signals were blaring inside Harry's head, warning him not to get too close, that Malfoy was highly volatile and that he was the last person that Malfoy would want to cry in front of.

Yet Harry could not bring himself to walk away. Maybe it was his inherent need to protect others that was kicking in, maybe it was his so-called "hero complex" as Hermione had labelled it. It didn't matter to him. Right now all that mattered to Harry was the overwhelming need to help and comfort the tall, pale boy standing only a few meters from him. He was once again reminded that Malfoy was just another human being, with trials and triumphs, hurt and happiness, just like him. He was now standing immediately behind Malfoy, close enough to stretch his hand out and brush the soft fabric of his soaked oxford shirt. Tentatively, he raised his hand and placed it on Malfoy's shoulder. His grip was soft yet reaffirming. Instantly, Malfoy's eyes darted up to the mirror in surprise. Their eyes met and Harry saw a wide range of emotions fighting for dominance in them. Following the initial shock, his quicksilver eyes radiated confusion, replaced by stormy anger and, finally, resignation.

He slumped together in Harry's grasp. It was the ultimate low for him. He was failing his mission and classes, had alienated his friends with arrogance and wickedness and now he was crying in the bathroom in front of his nemesis, the always-perfect Potter, who would without doubt use this to embarrass or expose him in front of the rest of the school. But when he looked into Harry's eyes, he saw no malice or cruelty. He thought that he must be imagining it, but what he saw was concern, compassion even. It only made him break down further. He sobbed, clinging to the supporting hand that Harry had placed on his shoulder like a man clinging to the cliff suspending him above the abyss. Suddenly, Harry forcefully spun Draco around and engulfed him in a fierce hug. All of Draco's muscles tensed and his senses revolted against this deeply intimate gesture. Draco could count the hugs he had received from others than his mother on one hand. He was not used to such gestures of intimacy and it felt awkward to be engaged in one now, with Harry of all people. But as if of its own accord, his body slowly relaxed into the hug, feeling comforted by the large muscular arms enveloping him in Harry's warmth. He could feel his hard chest pressing against him and it felt as if a small flikker of joy was bubbling in his chest at the physical contact.

Harry was just as confused by his own actions as Draco was. He could feel the cold of Draco's wet shirt slowly drenching through his sweater but he did not want to let go. He noticed how different Draco's physique was from what Harry had expected. Draco was tall and had always appeared to be thin bordering on willowy, yet as Harry held him, he felt the firm muscles of Draco's arms and chest pressing against him. Looks like quidditch has had a similar effect on both of us, he thought. He was momentarily surprised by the nature that his thoughts had taken, yet his thoughts shifted away again quickly, as Draco buried his face in the side of Harry's neck, his sobbing becoming slightly lighter. Harry reached up to stroke Draco's silky hair with one hand as his eyes involuntarily drifted towards the creamy, pale skin of the side of Draco's neck. Without pausing to consider the implications of what he was about to do, Harry gave way to instinct and lowered his lips down to nape of Draco's neck, relishing the feeling of the smooth skin brushing his tender lips. Draco stiffened, yet as Harry's lips drifted farther up Draco's neck, caressing the skin below his ear, Draco let out a small complacent sigh. Pleased by the reaction, Harry loosened his hold around Draco and settled his palms on Draco's back, pressing them closer against each other. His lips traveled across Draco's lower jaw until they reached the side of his mouth and finally brushed his lips. At first, Harry's lips brushed Draco's lightly, teasingly, nipping at his lips playfully, until his lips finally crushed onto the blonde's soft ones, forcing entry into Draco's mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance until they finally pulled back to catch their breath. Their eyes meeting, Harry let out a small nervous chuckle, first now realising how awkwardly intimate they had become. A blush crept up his neck and enflamed his cheeks as Draco let out a slightly forced-looking grin, likewise amused by the unexpected development. Within moments, they were both laughing incontrolably.

In that moment there was no war, no mission, no death. They were no longer to people forced into opposing sides in an all-enveloping war. They were too young to carry such a burden, to witness such atrocities, to feel such loss. But the realisation that they were two suddenly made them feel like they didn't have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders in solitude anymore. In that moment they were but two young Hogwarts students, sharing a small intimacy in a private corner of the castle, as so many others had before them and so many would after them. Suddenly, they didn't feel so alone anymore.

As they left the bathroom, little did they notice Moaning Myrtle, who was still seated on the frame of the large window above them, her eyes filled with ecstatic glee.


End file.
